Jumping back to the online world yet again



Yes, Hi World. Or more of the online platform where almost everyone has connection to.

I went back to check up on my last few posts and I was just laughing at myself like whuttt the only topic that I touched on last year was my braces update and heck it was in January like freaking in the beginning of the year with just one measly post which wasn't even detailed.

Frankly speaking 2016 flew by like a bullet train or maybe even faster than that man. Being preoccupied with work, extra work, managing my binge eating issues (decided not to put a label on myself saying its a disorder cause I watched a video somewhere which said that once you put a label on yourself its gonna be pretty hard to get rid of it as you'll be attached to it and our mind will try to hold on to it and.. I really want to have control of my binge eating habits thus the change of title; and I don't know the accuracy of this piece of information haha..), certain relationship issues, thinking of ways to cope with my social awkwardness (WHICH has made an improvement of perhaps 100mm if described in the measurement of length), and am still pondering on the main focus that has always been on my mind till now, what the fibbies should I do with my life.

I guess everyone goes through this phrase of being lost and not knowing what to do with where your life is heading. Though there are also people who has being educating themselves with what they want to do with their lives but there's still a handful of lost souls out there. If you are reading this right now and agree with me, WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT PAL. Its like on some days I can feel so inspirational and so motivated to do stuff and try new things and am just oozing with confidence and on other days I just feel like a bag of fried poo. And yes, fried poo days happen more frequently. I'm so damn tired of having so many fried poo days and always giving in to my binge eating ways that is SO unhealthy and SO harmful towards my internal organs.

I have a high tendency of using food as shield for my emotions and its not gonna magically stop unless I actually put in more effort to prevent it from happening again and again and again. And my personality is one where I don't really speak out and rather just swim in the pool of words in my brain. And because of this I always put pressure on myself thinking that why aren't I born with skills to be louder and thus, turning to soft, fluffy bread; fizzy, bubbly drinks; sweet, smooth desserts; and whatever else that I can get my hands on to be my friends. Therefore I feel like everything, all my issues are very connected to each other and if I can have more control over decisions of one topic I will be able to handle the others a little bit more smoothly.

I had been keeping track of my life on my iPhone Journal but have been very inconsistent but I know that I am a very fickle and conflicting character to deal with haha opps. So I reallyyy hope that I can stick to the next few 'challenges' that I've set for myself. I wouldn't say they are hard to complete so that I won't get demotivated to start them. This will include subjects that will be the headings of my upcoming blog posts that I feel like I can relate/ have interest to and I hope that they may spark an interest in you as well~

Haven't really properly arranged all the topics they're like just thrown into a pile soo here I go:
- Health & Nutrition (weight management, snacking, mind-less eating, eating habits, emotional eating, dance exercises, what to do after a binge, struggles with food, lack of motivation to exercise, DIY foods/drinks)
- Body Image (learning to love yourself, thinking with a different perspective)
- Social Awkwardness
- Music related topics (not sure of what yet, probably will cover what I'm best in listening to: Korean music and EDM)
- maybe makeup topics
- just random topics that pops into my head

These are just some stuff that I wanna note down just in case I forget them!

I shall end here and wishing everyone a Happy Easter Sunday!

Comments

  1. Good luck... I currently suffer from the same issue of social awkwardness, and not speaking up for myself. Although I don't eat my feelings, I just go to sleep and do nothing and fade into the background of my own life. I'm a pretty girl, but I have horrible self esteem at times. I'll be reading with you, good luck!!

    -Shay

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